


One Plus One Equals...

by MissAdoration



Series: Love Through the Pain [8]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alderaan, Angst, Bespin, Drama, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hurt Natasha Romanov, Hurt/Comfort, Miscarriage, Natasha-centric, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-01-21
Packaged: 2018-05-15 00:09:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 15,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5764264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissAdoration/pseuds/MissAdoration
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After months of being afraid to try, Natasha will finally be a mother, or will she? Part 1 of mini subseries called "Redemption".</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So here we begin part 8 of "Love Through the Pain" Warning you all now for violence and sensitive content.  
> This story is part of a 3-part mini sub series called "Redemption" (I'll explain more in parts 2 and 3)
> 
> Lastly, and this is a quote from my story "SAFE", "Let go of whatever is weighing you down and be anchored in Christ. You are safe in the arm of His embrace, breathing in his freedom."

September of 2015

Leia Organa was very excited as she dug for her phone in her purse. Her fingers flew across the screen as she searched for Natasha Romanoff's number. Finally she found it. Natasha's name was at the very bottom of her recent calls list.

"Wow, it's been a while since I've talked to her," she said to herself as she put the phone up to her ear.

On the third ring, Natasha picked up.

"This is Romanoff."

"Natasha, its Leia."

"Leia! Oh my gosh! It's been like forever since we've talked. How are you doing?"

"I'm doing really good, and that's actually the reason I called," Leia answered.

"Oh, what's that?" Natasha asked as she sat down on the bed

"Nat, I'm pregnant."

"You're what? Since when?"

"I'm 8 weeks pregnant," Leia answered excitedly.

"Oh my gosh! That's amazing!" Natasha exclaimed.

"I couldn't believe it myself, its been so long since I've had kids."

"Well, if you think about it, Abraham and Sarah had a son when they were well beyond child-bearing years," Natasha explained.

"That's very true. I think God is doing it again," Leia said cheerfully.

"Do you mind if I tell the team myself?" Natasha asked.

"Yeah, go for it!" Leia exclaimed.

"I'm so happy for you and Han."

"Thanks, Natasha. Don't worry, in God's time, you and Steve will have a child of your own. Have a good day.' She then hung up.

Natasha tossed her phone on the bed. She was indeed happy for Han and Leia, but now something else was bothering her. It had been 8 months since her and Steve were married at SHIELD and she still wasn't pregnant.

And that was mostly her fault.

She was scared for two reasons. The first reason was that when she and Steve first got married, she wasn't ready for a romantic night to that extreme because of what had happened to her in Russia. Even after she finally healed, which was about 3 months after the wedding, she still was scared and that led to her second reason. Throughout all of her life, she has had various chemicals injected into her body. Some had almost killed her because they were so strong. Even though Clint had rescued her from Ivan, not once, but twice now, the chemicals still flowed through her veins. Dr. Anderson had told her at one of her checkups that if she ever was to get pregnant, it would be a very high-risk pregnancy, and she could possibly not be able to carry a child full term.

"Dear God," she began to pray. "I'm so happy for my friend, Leia, is pregnant. You work in mysterious ways. I pray that you will bless her and Han as they prepare to have this child. Be with them and help them to raise the baby to follow You, and God, if it's in Your will, please allow Steve and me to one day have a child of our own. Whether we decided to adopt or I actually do become pregnant, I trust that You have a plan for both of us. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen."

After drying a few tears that came out during her prayer, she put her phone on the charger and left the room. It was time for their daily bible study.

* * *

"That's awesome, Nat," Steve said as they gathered in Room 3 for the study.

"How far along is she?" Clint asked.

"8 weeks," Natasha answered.

"It sounds like an Abraham and Sarah story. Leia's what, 50-something?" Coulson asked.

"I think so, and yes it does. I told her the exact same thing."

The small group then began discussing the daily reading from the 1-year bible plan that they were working through. Natasha led the discussion since Anna was on a long-term SHIELD mission, her first since becoming a Level 8 agent. She wasn't undercover, but the mission kept her busy most of the day. She would then call later at night and check in with how she was doing. She also said that Leia had told her the news about her pregnancy two days ago. They also had a lengthy conversation since the 2 of them haven't talked in a long time. The last time that Anna and Leia saw each other was back when Natasha first became a Christian.

After enjoying a simple dinner of steak, fingerling potatoes, and kale, cooked by Coulson, everyone retreated to bed.

As Steve and Natasha laid in bed, they pondered once again about having children.

"Steve, I want to have a child of our own one day, but I'm just, I'm just scared."

"I know. You've lived a difficult life before coming here. You have every right to be," Steve said as he drew her close.

"Even if I am able to get pregnant, there's a possibility that I won't be able to carry the baby full term."

"I know, but remember, in God's time, He will provide. He will provide," he said as he kissed her head.

"I love you, no matter what. I'll love you for a thousand years," he whispered.

"And I'll love you for a thousand more."

The two of them then fell asleep in each other's arms.


	2. Chapter 2

April, 2016

Natasha woke up in a daze.

The room was beginning to spin and her vision was beginning to blur.

"Steve?" she called. Steve immediately rushed into the room.

"Yeah?"

"I don't feel good. I need help."

Realizing what was happening, he quickly rushed into the room and helped her out of bed and into the bathroom.

She was sick.

Dr. Anderson had told her that morning sickness, or nausea and vomiting, was normal within the first few months of being pregnant and that it would eventually go away in a month or so, but it wasn't. Natasha was in her second month of being pregnant and she wasn't getting any better.

In fact, it seemed like she was getting worse.

Some days she would be severely sick in the morning and then completely fine in the afternoon, unless she tried to eat or drink anything. She couldn't keep anything down, not even water. This had been going on for about 3 days now. She was dehydrated, pale, weak, and very fatigued.

The following morning, she took a turn for the worst and almost passed out in the bathroom from vomiting for about 10 minutes straight. Once she was back in bed and Clint could look after her, Steve immediately called Dr. Anderson for help.

"I don't think I can even get her to you, Doctor," Steve said worriedly.

"Don't even try, Cap. I'm on my way right now. Try to keep her awake if you can. Has she been able to eat anything in the past few days?"

"No. She can't keep anything down, not even water," Steve answered.

"That's not good Steve. She's probably dehydrated by now. I'll get there as soon as I can. Tell Coulson I'm coming and that I'll need to be let in."

"Copy."

After hanging up, Steve texted Coulson to inform him that Dr. Anderson was coming. He then stepped back into the room from the hallway. Natasha was half awake in bed, trying to keep her eyes open and staring at Clint, who was stroking her forehead.

"She has a fever now too," he said.

Steve quickly got rushed to the bathroom to get a wet cloth. He then brought it back to Clint who took it from his hand and instantly began to dab it on Natasha's face in an attempt to break her fever.

Steve sat in the chair on her right side and took her hand.

Her eyes told him everything. She was sick.

"It's alright, Nat. Dr. Anderson's on his way. Try to stay awake for me," he whispered.

"Steve…" was all she managed to say.

A half hour later, Dr. Anderson arrived and was let in by Coulson. Natasha's fever had finally broken the second he walked into the room.

After greeting the doctor, Clint left the room to get a couple hours' sleep. He was exhausted from his latest mission. Meanwhile, Dr. Anderson began to start Natasha on an IV. She needed fluids in her body or she would die of dehydration.

"She also had a fever right before you got here," Steve said as Dr. Anderson finished the IV.

"I could tell instantly when I saw her. She doesn't look like herself at all."

"Is this normal?

"Yes and no. Morning sickness is common with pregnant women, but I think Natasha has something called hyperemesis, which can lead to dehydration. It could also be an indicator that she's carrying twins," Dr. Anderson explained.

"Twins? Are you serious?"

"I am. I once had a patient back during my time in Russia that had the same thing, and she ended up delivering triplets."

"Oh my."

"Yeah, it was a long night for all of us. Didn't leave the office 'till about 2:00 in the morning Russia time the day it happened," he said smiling. He then cleared his throat. "Steve, if Coulson doesn't' mind, I would like to stay here on base in case the worst should happen."

"The worst?"

"Well, given her weight and her medical history, there's a chance that she can lose the babies in what's called a miscarriage, and the aftermath would be very severe."

"Oh my gosh! Well, I definitely want you here if that does happen, which I hope it doesn't. Umm, you can take the guest room across the hall."

"Thanks. I'll head back to Alderaan to get a few things for both her and myself as well. I'll be back later this evening," Dr. Anderson said as he picked up his medical bag.

"One quick thing, when will you know if she's carrying twins?"

"Well, once she's strong enough, I can perform another ultrasound to see if that's true. When I performed the first one at 5 weeks, I wasn't able to tell."

"OK. We have a machine in the medical wing here on base or I know a good hospital where we can go."

"Sounds good. See you when I get back."

Dr. Anderson then headed back to Alderaan to pack a few personal things for himself as well as some medical things for Natasha. Upon his return, he would talk to Steve about having Natasha come to Alderaan for the remainder of her pregnancy.

Meanwhile, Natasha had fallen asleep after finally eating a few crackers. Clint, who had woken up from his nap, came back in the room to watch over her while Steve went to freshen up and make sure that the guest room was straightened up. No one had ever used it before, but he just wanted to make sure.

* * *

Around 5:00 in the evening, Dr. Anderson came back to base and settled into the guest room. He then went into Natasha's room and changed her IV bag since the one that he first brought her had ran out.

"It's important she gets fluids back in her again so that she can get stronger," Dr. Anderson explained as he finished attaching the bag to the pole.

"Doctor?" Natasha said as she slowly woke up.

"Hey, Nat," he said softly.

"I'm sick."

"I know. Just hang in there. You'll get better soon enough."

A small smile appeared across her face, but it didn't reach her eyes.

She was sick and just wanted to be better.


	3. Chapter 3

Two days later, Natasha was finally feeling better. She would still occasionally get sick, but it was only a few times. She was also finally able to eat something and keep it down. Even though she would still feel tired most of the day, Dr. Anderson agreed that it was time for a second ultrasound. Since she didn't feel like traveling too far away, Dr. Anderson met with the medical personnel at HQ and they agreed to perform the ultrasound with him in the room.

Steve held her hand as the nurse moved the wand across her abdomen. He didn't notice that her eyes were closed. His eyes, along with Dr. Anderson's were intently watching the monitor where they could see Natasha's baby.

"It looks like she is carrying twins," the nurse said excitedly. Steve gave her a smile and looked at Dr. Anderson, who was also smiling at him.

"Well, Steve. There's our answer right there," Dr. Anderson said as he gave him a pat on the shoulder.

"Both babies are doing fine. Their heart rates are normal and I don't see anything unusual. Did you want to know their genders?" the nurse asked.

"Excellent, and yes," Dr. Anderson answered. He quickly glanced at Steve who also nodded yes to wanting to know the genders.

"You're having a boy and a girl," the nurse answered. Both men smiled at that happy announcement.

Natasha opened her eyes and stared blankly at Steve. "Well, good morning," Dr. Anderson said when he looked at her. "Didn't realize you fell asleep. You OK?" Natasha slowly nodded her head and then glanced at the monitor.

"Is that my baby?" she asked.

"Babies. You're carrying twins," Steve answered.

"Twins? Are you serious?"

"I am."

Natasha could sense a few tears forming in her eyes. She let them roll out as the nurse cleaned the gel off of her abdomen.

"Would you like a picture?" the nurse asked.

"Yes please," Steve answered.

"I would like one as well. I have a special place for ultrasound pictures in my office," Dr. Anderson responded.

The nurse went over to the computer to print the pictures. She then handed one to Steve and one to Dr. Anderson.

"Seeing that she fell asleep, I would recommend a nap. It's important that she has strength to get through this pregnancy. Is she taking any prenatal vitamins?"

"Not since being sick. I can write a prescription for them and she can start tomorrow," Dr. Anderson replied.

"OK."

Once everything was completed, the small group left the medical wing and headed back to the other side of HQ where everyone's quarters were. Steve pushed Natasha in a wheelchair since she was still weak to walk, especially since the walk from their room to medical was somewhat long.

As Steve was settling her into bed, Clint came in the room. He looked like he had just woken up from a long nap.

"Sorry, Cap. I overslept. I really wanted to be there to see it though."

"That's alright. You looked worn out when I got up this morning anyway. That reminds me, thanks for staying with her last night. I really needed to get some sleep."

"Anytime. So, how was the ultrasound?"

"Well. Dr. Anderson was right, she is carrying twins," Steve answered as he handed Clint the picture. He looked at it and smiled.

"You're going to have your hands full there, Cap. Congratulations."

"Thanks," he answered.

After giving Natasha a kiss on the forehead and made sure she was sleeping peacefully, he and Clint left the room. He didn't close the door all the way, and there was a reason for that. Every now and then since she had been rescued from Russia, she never liked to sleep in a room alone with the door closed. It reminded her of the numerous times that Ivan had locked her in a room and left her to suffer. So, like always, he left he door half open so that she would not panic from being alone.

* * *

A half hour later, and with Natasha still asleep, Dr. Anderson had Steve and Clint meet him in medical. He wanted to talk to them about the remainder of Natasha's pregnancy.

"Guys, Nat is probably going to kill me for this, but with her having hyperemesis and her chances for miscarriage being high, I would like to have her admitted to the hospital on Alderaan and have her remain there until she's due."

"She's not due until October, and it's only the end of April," Clint responded.

"I know, and I've been thinking this over ever since Steve called me here, but I feel that his is best for her, especially if she miscarries. I don't want Coulson mad at me if things get messy."

"Natasha's not going to be happy," Steve said.

"I know she's not. That's why I'm going to wait a couple more days and let her get stronger. Then we can go."

"I'm coming too. I'm not going to leave her side. Ever since Russia, she doesn't like being alone in scary situations," Steve answered. Clint nodded that he would come as well.

"Absolutely, and yes, I've noticed that. It seems that she's always with one of you guys."

The three of them left the room and went back to their quarters. Steve also checked on Natasha, who was still asleep. He then continued down the hallway to the training room to work out.

Along the way, his phone went off. It was text from Anna, saying that everything was going well and that she would be back in a few days. She was going to spend a couple nights at home before coming back to base.

Steve responded with a smiley face and to have her call him later. He couldn't put what was going on in a text.

She would have to be told in person, which he decided to do later that night.


	4. Chapter 4

Leia was in complete disbelief.

She was 9 months pregnant with a baby girl and now her husband and brother were leaving to help fight a war with Han's friend, Lando Calrissian oh his home planet of Bespin.

"I wish you didn't have to go," Leia said to Han as he embraced her in hug.

"I know, Sweetheart, but Lando needs us. He's not good on his own and Bespin is a small place."

"It's just, you won't be here for when the baby comes," she sobbed.

"I know, and I asked Lando if we could wait until she was born, but he needs us now. I'll see if I can work something out with Dr. Anderson, you know, like a video feed or something."

"OK. Just don't die out there," she said.

"I'll try not to. I love you."

"I know."

After giving her one last hug and kiss, Han boarded the train and waited patiently while Luke said his good-byes to Leia.

"You're going to be OK," Luke said as he wrapped his arms around her. "At least Officer Kennedy is letting you stay at his house."

"True, but I'll still miss you guys, especially when the baby comes. I wanted both of you in the delivery room with me," she sobbed

"I know. We're only gone for 2 months. Hopefully Dr. Anderson can work something out. He's very handy when it comes to computers," Luke responded.

"He is." She then took a breath. "Please, please don't die out there."

"We'll try not to. We might get a few wounds here and there, but we'll try not to die." He then gave her one last hug and boarded the train.

With tears in her eyes, she watched the train pull away from the station. They waved good-bye to each other until they could no longer see each other. Right when she stopped waving, she felt the baby move in her stomach.

It was like she was saying "good-bye."

"Don't worry, baby girl, Daddy and Uncle Luke will be home soon," she said as she rubbed her stomach and turned to walk back to her car. Officer Kennedy allowed her to use his personal car until after the baby was born. He didn't want her to use a speeder in case she lost control or someone ran into her. Leia knew how to drive a speeder fairly well and almost never lost control, but Kennedy was taking extra precautions just be safe.

As she was leaving the station, another train pulled in and three people rushed out. One of the three was being held in someone's arms.

"Clear the way!" one shouted. Leia recognized it as Dr. Anderson. She decided to leave her car at the station and come back for later since she now had an inkling as to what was going on.

It was Natasha.

"Dr. what happened?" she asked.

"We were on our way here and she passed out," Dr. Anderson responded as they continued to make their way through the crowd. 

"Is she OK?"

"She will be once I get an IV in her. She's still regaining her fluids back. She's been very sick these past few weeks. Her pregnancy hasn't exactly been an easy one. I was actually planning to admit her to the hospital here later this afternoon, but by the looks of it, I'm glad I'm doing it now," Dr. Anderson answered.

"I see."

Minutes later, they made it to the hospital. Leia stayed back as Steve laid Natasha down on the bed. Dr. Anderson immediately went to work on getting an IV hooked into her. He must've had this room prepped before he got here.

Three minutes later, Natasha opened her eyes once again.

"Steve?" she whispered. "Where are we?"

"We're at the hospital on Alderaan," he said as he took her hand.

A low moan escaped her lips.

She just wanted to sleep.

"I'm so tired," she said. Steve then squeezed her hand and kissed her forehead.

"Get some sleep. Clint will be here as soon as he gets done with his training session." She nodded her head and closed her eyes to sleep.

"How far along is she?" Leia asked as she came closer.

"15 weeks, and she's actually carrying twins," Steve answered.

"Wow. Congratulations!" Leia exclaimed quietly, not wanting to wake Natasha and startle her.

"Thanks. I'm a little worried about her though."

"Why's that?"

"Well, it's her history. Ever since she was a child, she has always had various chemicals injected into her body. Some almost killed her even. Dr. Anderson's worried that she won't be able to carry full term."

"Oh. I'm so sorry. Dr. Anderson's slightly worried about me as well. It's been years since I've had kids and I also have a heart condition. It runs in my family, however Luke doesn't have it."

"Oh my. I didn't know," Steve responded.

"It's not something I talk about much because it doesn't really bother me," She answered.

"I see. When are you due?"

"Next week."

"You don't sound too excited," Steve said worriedly.

"I am, it's just that my husband and brother left to help one of our friends fight a war on his home planet. They couldn't wait until after," Leia explained.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I hope they return safely."

"Yeah, me too."

"Are you staying with someone, or are you by yourself?"

"I'm staying with Officer Kennedy. He says he can rush home from the police station if something happens to me."

"At least you're staying with someone you know and trust."

"I trust Kennedy with my life. He's saved me so many times that I've lost count," Leia answered with a smile.

"He's helped Natasha out many times too. He's a good man."

"He is, and he makes a great general officer. He knows how to do his job."

"Is he married?" Steve asked as he got up from the chair to leave the room and walk Leia out since he guessed that her car was at the train station.

"He was. His wife was killed during that same raid where I was shot. I was trying to cover her, but the bullet got both of us," Leia explained.

"Natasha has that same story. She was covering a nuclear engineer when she was shot by the Winter Soldier."

"She told me about that," she then cleared her throat.

"Thanks for walking me out. I have to go to my place and gather a few things for my stay at Kennedy's house. I'll be praying for you and Natasha."

"Thanks, Leia. I'll be praying for all of you as well." He gave her a small hug and watched her walk down sidewalk back to the train station.

Once she was out of sight, Steve went back inside and quickly checked on Natasha, who was still asleep. He then went to Dr. Anderson's office. He wanted to ask him about the blood test that Natasha had. She had told him that she had one, but she never told him the results of it. She was probably too scared to talk about it, so instead of pushing her for an answer, he would try a different route.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the third time I have done a fight sequence in a story, so I apologize for the fast-moving plot line. I will say this fight chapter is better than my fight chapters in "Forever Changed". Anyway, enjoy. Things do get a little graphic in this chapter, so be cautions.

Han, Luke,Lando  and General Rieekan were busy fighting in the streets of Bespin. About 2 weeks ago, a group of raiders from an abandoned area of Dagobah invaded the planet and were wanting to take everyone hostage and bring them back to Dagobah to work in the factories or become fighters. All around them, buildings were on fire, people were screaming and shouting and trying to avoid getting captured. For some. It was easy to escape. For others, it wasn't and they were forcefully loaded onto wagons and were taken away. Some were also killed on the spot if they didn't obey or even worse, a person's family would be killed while he or she would be forced to watch. He or she would then be taken away.

Luke hadn't been paying attention when he felt a laser blast hit his spine. He was distracted by a young girl, maybe around 6 or 7, who was literally being pulled away from her mother's arms and being thrown onto a wagon with other hostages. The second the laser blast hit him, he immediately fell forward. He was just able to get his hands out in front of him to brace his fall.

"Han, I've been hit!" Luke shouted in pain through his earpiece. Lando had given each of them an earpiece so that they could communicate with each other while out on the streets.

Still no answer.

"Luke, where are you?" Han shouted as he fired a few blasts from his weapon. His eyes then caught sight of one of the fighters throwing a grenade into a building that was full of people. The building immediately exploded. Han tried to duck from the debris, but he was too late. A piece of burning wood landed on his head and he fell to the ground. The fighter who through the grenade then turned around and fired a shot straight into Han's chest. Luke heard the fall and the gunshot through his earpiece. "Not good" he said to himself.

"Han, you OK?" he asked as his breaths were staring to come up short.

"Luke…I've…been…hit…" Han said as he coughed uncontrollably from the smoke.

"Han, where are you?"

"Tell…Leia…I…love…her." He coughed a few more times and then his line went dead.

"Han? Han?" Luke shouted. "Oh Gosh, please no. Not Han!" he said to himself as he pushed himself up to a kneeling position.

He didn't get very far.

A gun once again sounded and he fell back onto the ground, his head hitting hard against the compacted dirt road. He placed his hand over his chest. He was shot yet again. His breaths were coming up even shorter than before.

"Lando? Where…are…you?" he asked weakly.

No answer.

"Lando?"

"Was Lando still alive?" he thought to himself.

With a shaking and bloodied hand, he grasped the charm on Leia's necklace that was around his neck.

"You're…going…to…be…a…great…mother…" He then breathed his last.

Lando had heard Luke's faint voice through his earpiece. He was sad and angry at himself for not having his friends' backs. With help from one of his other friends, he was able to find where both Han and Luke had fallen. Upon locating Luke's body, tears instantly flooded his eyes. Luke was holding onto Leia's necklace while blood continued to pour from the wound on his chest.

"I'm so sorry," General Rieekan said to him as he removed the necklace. He then lifted Luke's lifeless body and laid him next to Han's body in his wagon. He and Lando then drove to Lano's place where they would prepare the bodies to be transported to Alderaan.

Once they made it to Lando's house and the bodies were already in the coffins, Lando went to his room and cried. He was mad at himself for not helping out his friends when they needed it. He instead had turned off his earpiece to rush into a burning house to save a family's baby girl who was trapped in her room. By the time he got out and turned on his earpiece, it was too late.

"LORD," he began to pray with tears still in his eyes. "I've never done this before and I'm still not sure if I believe in you yet, but I want to say that I'm sorry for not having my friends' backs when they needed help. Please forgive me for this wrongdoing. Also, please wrap your arms around Leia and be with her as she prepares to bring a child into this world. Amen."

He then grabbed his cell phone to call Officer Kennedy and deliver the news and that he wanted him to deliver it to Leia since he couldn't bring himself to do it.

* * *

Tears began to fall from Kennedy's eyes and Lando told him what had happened.

"Luke was holding on to her necklace when I found him."

"How did it happen?" Kennedy asked.

"I don't know. I was rescuing a baby girl from a burning building and I had turned off my earpiece to save it. I feel so terrible that I wasn't there for them. If I hadn't turned my earpiece off, they would probably would still be here!" Lando cried. Kennedy was unsure of what to say to this. "Are you injured in anyway?" he asked a few seconds later.

"I think I got a first or second-degree burn on my leg, but I'm more hurt emotionally."

"I am too now. I'm so sorry, Lando."

"Don't apologize to me. I should be apologizing to you for not helping them," Lando answered.

"I'm not mad at you at all. I'll be praying for you these next few days. You'll get through this."

"Thank you," Lando said as he tears started to cease.

"Would you like me to break it to Leia?"

"Please, I can't get myself to do it. She'll want to kill me," Lando responded.

"OK. I think she's either visiting a friend in the hospital or she's at her place straightening things up. I'll tell her as soon as you and I get done here."

"Thanks, Kennedy. I owe you one."

The two of them ended the conversation talking about how Lando would leave Bespin today to accompany the coffins to Alderaan. He would stay for funeral and then head home to continue the fight that was still going on.

After hanging up the phone, Kennedy leaned back in his chair and put his hands over his face. He was upset that 2 of his closest friends were now dead. He wished he could've gone with them to fight alongside them, but Leia needed him here. She would need him even more now that no one was around for her. Ever since they met each other, he had become like a second father to her and Luke.

"God, give me the words to say to her," he said to himself as he leaned forward and placed his elbows on his desk.

"My son, I will be with you," a soft voice responded.

After he regained his composure, he began to process how he was going to tell Leia about her husband and brother.


	6. Chapter 6

"I'm sorry, Cap. That's confidential information," Dr. Anderson said as Steve closed the door to his office. He was inquiring about the blood test that Natasha had been given when she first found out she was pregnant.

"I'm her husband, though. Doesn't that count for anything?" he asked.

Dr. Anderson thought for a few moments. Steve was right. He was family and was noted as her primary contact person. He let out a sight as he pulled the file from his desk drawer. He opened it to the page where Natasha had listed her 3 contact people.

"OK. You're right. She did list you as her primary contact. Clint and Coulson are second and third on the list." He cleared his throat as Steve sat down in the chair across from him.

"Cap, the blood test that I performed on Natasha was to see what percentage of her blood is filled with chemicals, not just from the Red Room in her past, but during her recent captivity in Russia." He then took a breath. "Steve, Natasha's blood is 60% toxic."

Steve was silent for a few seconds. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. It made him think of the time when he heard about Tony Stark and how blood was 82% toxic with palladium many years ago.

Now it was Natasha, the person that meant the world to him.

"So, what does that mean for the pregnancy?" he asked.

"Well, her chances of miscarriage have just doubled because of this. If in fact she does loose both babies, I'm afraid there will be some long-term effects on her."

"Such as?"

"Well, the list is somewhat extensive, but the big ones include: fatigue, cold body temperatures, and low energy levels." Dr. Anderson explained.

"Would she be able to fight again?" Steve asked.

"Well, it depends on how her body responds if she does miscarry. Since she's carrying twins, a miscarriage could be very serious and those affects that I just listed have an even higher chance of happening compared to someone who isn't carrying twins. There's also a chance that she could slip into a long-term coma or even worse, she could die from heavy blood loss."

Steve slowly nodded to Dr. Anderson that he understood, but now he was scared. The fact that Natasha could die from this made his stomach flip. It wasn't her time to go yet. She still had more to accomplish in her life. Even if she did make it through, she could possibly end up in a coma and if she woke up from that, she would probably never be able to fight again.

His head began to spin. He needed to get away and process what he just heard from the doctor in the last 5 minutes.

"Doctor, I need time to process this. I...I…"

"Take your time, Steve. I know it's a lot to take in. I remember when I told Natasha she nearly broke down. She even stormed out of the medical wing that day," Dr. Anderson answered.

"I can see why she didn't tell any of us what happened. I remember when Clint and I got back from our mission that day, all she could do was just sob into our chests," Steve responded.

"She never told you?"

"No. She was too scared to do it."

"I see. Umm, are you going to leave the hospital?" Dr. Anderson asked.

"Yeah. I'm staying at a hotel and then eventually I'll ask Leia about the guest room in the sanctum."

"OK. I'll call you if something comes up with Natasha. How was she when you left the room? Does she know that you and I are talking about this?"

"No, she doesn't. And she was asleep when I left," Steve answered.

"OK. I'll go check on her and make sure she's OK," Dr. Anderson said as he got up from his chair. Steve opened the office door and the two of them walked to Natasha's room. Steve decided to check on her as well since he was leaving the hospital. If she was awake, he would tell her that he was leaving to run an errand.

Steve stayed by the door as Dr. Anderson went in to check on her. From what he could see, Natasha was still sleeping peacefully, just like he had left her. A knot began to from in his chest when he saw her. He couldn't imagine living his the rest of his life without her.

He loved her.

Dr. Anderson came out of the room and walked with Steve to the front door of the hospital.

"She awoke briefly when I came in and told me she had a headache, but she was fine. I'll change her IV line in a few minutes. It's important that she stays hydrated and gets as much rest as she can so that she can gain her strength back."

Steve nodded his head and thanked the doctor. He then walked out the door and down the street to his hotel. His plan was to work out in the gym and take a nap.

* * *

Back at the hotel. Steve changed into some workout clothes, purchased a water bottle from the vending machine, and headed for the workout room. Ever since Natasha started getting sick, he hadn't been keeping up with his personal workout schedule to keep himself in shape. His personal workout included: lifting weights, running, and using a stationary bike and an elliptical three days a week. There were some days that Clint, Coulson, or eve Natasha (before she got pregnant) would join him. Other times he was by himself. Occasionally, he would listen to music that was downloaded onto his phone to keep him motivated. Today though, he didn't want to listen to music. He wanted to save his battery in case Dr. Anderson called about Natasha.

After a hard 10-mile run on the treadmill, he slowed down for a 2-mile walk. During his walk, he began to process what Dr. Anderson had told him back at the hospital.

"What if she does miscarry?" he asked himself. "Would the two of us ever be the same?"

Things would definitely be different if she did. She would probably never fight again because she would tire out easy, even if the Red Room claimed she wouldn't. This would then lead her to retire as an agent like when she and Steve left for her to learn how to use her prosthetic hand. If she retired, then Anna would be the only female agent, unless Coulson could recruit Agent Melinda May. It would be cool to work with The Cavalry, but he would miss having his partner. Clint would as well. Clint was the first person that Natasha ever worked with. He had rescued her from Ivan's hold, and twice. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if Natasha could never fight again.

Once his walk was finished, he went back to his room for a shower. Since he didn't hear his phone go off in the workout room, he decided to lay down for a nap.

He was just allowing sleep to claim him when he heard his phone ring.

"Hello." He answered, not even checking the caller ID.

"Cap. Get back to the hospital. Stat. It's Natasha," Dr. Anderson said. Steve could faintly hear someone breathing heavily.

Without asking any questions, Steve immediately rushed out of his room and ran straight to the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to read an alternate version of this chapter, click [here](http://adorationamy.tumblr.com/post/122140980386/intoxicated-natashas-reaction)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might need a couple tissues for this one. Up next, you'll learn why Steve had to rush back to the hospital.

Leia was busy about her house. Kennedy was at work, so she decided to get some cleaning done at her own place since she knew that once the baby came, she would have her hands full taking care of her. She wanted to get done as quickly as she could so that she could go to her garden to read her bible as well as write a letter to Han and Luke. According to their last letter, which came a couple days ago, both of them were doing fine and that they couldn't wait to come home and meet the newest addition to the family. She herself was very excited to meet her new daughter as well.

Her name was to be Natasha Leia Solo.

Her mind then drifted to Natasha Romanoff. She was in the hospital here on Alderaan as a precaution in case something serious happened and that Dr. Anderson could be close by. She remembered when she was pregnant with her two twins, Jacen and Jaina, Dr. James Brady, the doctor before Dr. Anderson came along, was keeping a close eye on her because she had passed out one day from a small heart attack 2 weeks before she found out she was pregnant. It was then learned that she had heart failure.

At last, she finished straightening the house. She grabbed her bible and notepad off the table and headed out the door.

All around her, people were going about their daily lives. Some were going to one of the many local restaurants that Alderaan City had to offer, some were going shopping, and others were just taking a walk with their sweethearts. Young love was fairly common around here.

She kept her ears alert, listening for the sound of raiders. That was the last thing she needed today. The last raid that she vividly remembered left her traumatized for about a month, and now with being pregnant and due any day, she wouldn't be able to move as quickly if one was called. That's why she decided to stay close to the buildings in case she had to slip inside to avoid getting captured.

Within 5 minutes, she made it to her garden.

About all of the flowers that were planted there were in full bloom. There were daisies, tulips, roses, sunflowers, crocuses, irises, and tiny primroses. In the center of the garden, there was a huge lilac tree, a gift from Luke for her 30th birthday. She was surprised that over 20 years later, it was still alive and was able to produce good-smelling flowers every spring. Under the tree was a wooden bench that he and Han carved for her.

That bench was only 10 years old.

Sitting down on the bench, she opened her bible and began to read. Today's passage that she wanted to read was Psalm 46. Her favorite verse specifically was verse 10. It was a verse that Anna liked as well. Anna. "How was she?" she thought to herself. When she last talked to her about 2 weeks ago, she was still on her undercover mission for SHIELD and wasn't due back until about a week after her baby was due. She made a mental note in her head to pray for Anna and that her mission would be successful and that she would return safely.

After reading the passage through a second time as well as flipping to Isaiah 40, which was another one of Anna's favorite passages, she prayed to God, asking him to keep Anna safe on her mission, safety for Han and Luke while they were fighting in Bespin, that Natasha would get stronger so that she could have a successful pregnancy, and that the delivery of her own child would go smoothly. She then closed her bible and switched to her notepad to begin writing a letter to Han and Luke.

She had just written "Dear Han and Luke" when her phone rang. Normally she would put her phone on vibrate when she was at her garden, but with Natasha in the hospital, she needed to be ready for anything that could happen. If Natasha miscarried, she wanted to do everything she could to comfort her since she knew what it was like to lose a child. Two years after her third child was killed by raiders, she became pregnant again. Unfortunately she miscarried at the 12-week mark.

She gave a worried look on her face when she saw the name on the CallerID.

Officer Kennedy.

"Kennedy?" she asked when she answered the phone.

"Leia, I need to speak you in person. Where are you?"

"I'm in my garden," she responded.

"OK, I'll be there in a few minutes." He then hung up.

"Oh please, God. Let nothing be wrong," she said to herself as she felt the baby move once again. "Please let nothing be wrong."

* * *

Officer Kennedy arrived at the garden dressed in his uniform, hat included. He almost never wore his hat, but today he did. He approached Leia with a worried look. He wasn't looking forward to what he had to say to her.

"Kennedy, is everything OK?" she asked as he sat down next to her on the bench.

"Leia," he began as he took off his hat and sat it next to him. He then took her hand in his continued on. "I am sorry to have to tell you this, but…" he stopped as tears began to form in his eyes. "Han and Luke were killed in action earlier today."

"They what?" she asked, her voice beginning to break.

"They were both shot and killed around the same time."

"You mean, they're gone?" Leia asked. Kennedy nodded yes.

Tears began to form and stream down Leia's face. Her husband and brother were dead.

Gone.

In heaven with God.

They would never meet the baby.

Officer Kennedy very slowly wrapped his arms around Leia to comfort her.

"I'm so sorry, Leia. It wasn't easy for me to hear either," he said quietly into her hair.

"Why? Why did they have to die?" she sobbed.

He continued to hold her as her tears continued to fall and eventually soak a small section on his uniform. He didn't care about that. He didn't care that people passing by would see them. Right now, all he cared about was comforting Leia. She would need him more than ever before.

Once her tears somewhat subsided, she left Kennedy's embrace and looked at him.

"Where are they?" she asked.

"Lando is on his way here with the bodies. He said that they would've wanted to be buried here o Alderaan."

"Yes. They've always wanted that. This place was their second home," she responded.

Seconds later, Kennedy received a text that Lando was at the train station.

"They're here," he said quietly. He then stood up, tucked his hat under his arm, and held out his other hand for Leia to help her up. She took his hand and they walked down the street to the train station, leaving her bible and notebook safely hidden under the bench where nobody would see it. She would come back for it later.

As they were walking, she felt the baby kick again.

"Sorry, baby girl," she said to herself as her tears started once again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read with maturity because this gets graphic (this is probably the most graphic I have ever gotten). Also, get your tissues out. Trust me, you'll need them for this chapter.

Natasha had been drifting on and off to sleep all afternoon. The last time she awoke was when Dr. Anderson had come to check on her. Her body was still recovering from being severely sick. It was the second day that she was here since Dr. Anderson had brought her in, but no one had told her that she had been admitted long-term. With being so fatigued, she guessed that he probably didn't want to startle her and cause her to panic.

As she was drifting off to sleep for probably the 10th time that day, she was immediately hit with a sharp pain in her lower abdomen.

Something wasn't right.

Seconds later, she was feeling hot and sweaty.

She opened her mouth to call for Kathleen, but the only thing that came out was a scream.

and it was high-pitched.

A nurse who happened to be passing by her room heard her and came inside.

"Are you OK, Miss?" she asked.

"I need help. I'm…I'm…"

The nurse immediately knew that Natasha was miscarrying. She quickly came into the room, called for Dr. Anderson using the in-room pager, and then quickly and carefully helped Natasha to the bathroom.

By this time, she was starting to bleed.

* * *

Dr. Anderson ran as fast as he could from his office the second he heard his name.

He didn't have to hear the rest of it.

His gut instinct told him that is was Natasha.

"Please, God. Help her get through this. Please get her through this," he said as he ran down the hall.

Inside the room, a nurse was already in the bathroom keeping Natasha upright.

She looked pale.

She was scared and he could see it in her eyes.

"Miscarriage," the nurse answered.

"Go find Kathleen. I can take over from here," he said as he lowered himself onto the ground in front of Natasha. The nurse quickly got up and left the room as he focused his eyes on Natasha, who was beginning to shed a few tears from the pain.

"Hang on, Nat. You'll get through this," he said as he got his phone from his pocket.

With one hand, he was able to find Steve's number and hit the "call" button.

* * *

Steve ran into the room all out of breath. Kathleen was already there, changing the bedding.

"Miscarriage?" he asked. She nodded her head as she walked toward the door with a pile of bedding.

He could briefly see a few splotches of blood.

He quickly moved to small bathroom inside the room. Natasha was clinging to Dr. Anderson, trying to stay upright. She was in pain.

"Steve..." she managed as a pain wave shot through her.

"Steve, help me hold her," Dr. Anderson said. Within seconds, Steve was on the ground, holding Natasha upright. He looked into her eyes.

They were bloodshot.

She was crying and sweating.

"Help me!" she sobbed.

"I'm here, Nat. It's OK. Just hang on," he soothed.

"It hurts!"

"I know. I know, but you have to hang on. Focus on me."

Black was slowly creeping into her vision as she tried to focus on him. She just wanted whatever was happening to her to be over so she could lay down.

Seconds later, she fell forward, nearly knocking Steve off balance.

"Doctor!" he shouted as he pushed Natasha back up to a sitting position.

Her eyes were closed.

Dr. Anderson quickly rushed back into the bathroom for he had been helping Kathleen remake the bed, but still remaining close by if something happened.

He quickly got down next to Steve and looked for a pulse on Natasha's neck.

Nothing.

As fast as he could, he picked Natasha up and carried her back to the bed and immediately called for more help.

"Code blue! Code Blue!" he shouted. Code blue was the code for cardiac arrest.

Steve was told to leave the room as a small team of doctors and nurses rushed in. Very quickly, they pulled her hair back away from her face and placed an oxygen mask over her mouth.

"Is she still bleeding?" one nurse asked.

"Not much I don't think," Dr. Anderson answered.

"Should I get the defibrillator?" another asked.

"No. Her body won't be able to handle the shock. Just keep pumping oxygen. Hurry. I can't lose her!"

The team continued to work on Natasha, trying desperately to save her.

"BP is falling!" one of the doctors shouted.

"Come on, Nat. Don't leave us," Dr. Anderson said taking her cold hand in his.

Minutes later, disaster struck again.

"She's v-fibbing!"

"Heart rate?"

"Negative."

While still holding her hand, Dr. Anderson gave out orders on what to do. The team did as they were told. They could tell that this patient needed to be saved.

With tears beginning to fall, he began to speak to her. Desperately hoping she would hear him.

"Natasha. Please don't die. God's not finished with you yet. Please don't leave me. Steve needs you. Clint needs you. SHIELD needs you. Come on, Nat."

At last, Natasha stabilized. It took a small shock from the defibrillator and one sedative to stabilize her, but it worked and now her heart rate was beating somewhat normally.

The oxygen mask was still fixed on her face.

"Good job guys," Dr. Anderson said as the team cleaned up their equipment.

After saying a prayer of relief, he gave Natasha's hand a squeeze, pulled the blanket up to her chin, and went out into the hallway where Steve was sitting on the ground outside the door, murmuring prayers to God. He quickly stood up when Dr. Anderson came out.

"How is she?"

"The next 24 hours are crucial. She's still unconscious from heavy blood loss. She even flat-lined for 5 minutes."

"She what?" Steve gasped.

"It's OK. We were able to stabilize her," Dr. Anderson said.

"Is she going to make it?"

"I can't tell right now. She's somewhat breathing on her own, but because of the amount of blood that she lost, things could turn ugly again. An oxygen mask is also still over her face. Her body needs it in order for her to pull through. She's very weak from what just happened."

Steve nodded that he understood, but his heart was starting to beat rapidly. Right now, he wanted to be done talking so that he could be by Natasha's side.

Judging the look that Steve had given him, he quickly, but politely ended the conversation. "I'll be in my office if you need anything. I'm so sorry this happened, Cap," he said as he shook Steve's hand.

"Thank you, Sir."

After saying a prayer to God, Dr. Anderson went back to his office and Steve went into the room and sat by Natasha's bedside. Just like Dr. Anderson had told him, an oxygen mask was still fixed over her face right below her eyes, which were closed. Beside him, he heard the beeping of the respirator, telling him that his wife, the woman he loved, was still alive and hanging in there.

With tears in his eyes, he kissed the top her forehead.

"I love you," he said as he squeezed her hand.

With his other hand, he got out his cell phone and contacted Clint and Coulson.


	9. Chapter 9

Leia waited in the lobby of the train station while the caskets were being unloaded. Kennedy stood next to her with his hat tucked under his arm. He could not believe this was happening, especially at time like this.

She was due any day to have her baby. 

"God, get us through these next few hours," he said to himself as the first casket was being brought in.

It was Luke's.

Leia stepped forward and leaned her head on the lid as Lando left to get the other one. Kennedy stayed back a few feet to give her some space before he came up to say his good-byes. He would do the same when Han's came in.

Tears fell from her eyes and landed on the lid as she leaned against her brother's casket. She couldn't believe that he was gone. The brother that she never knew she had until 30 years was gone.

He was now in Heaven with God.

Kennedy then came up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder. She lifted her head off the casket and turned to look at him. He had something in his hand.

"Here. Lando said that Luke was holding this before he died," he said as he held out her necklace. With shaky hands, she took it from his palm and put it around her neck. It brought back the memory of when she opened it up 1 year after she learned Luke was her brother.

"Leia, Han's casket is here," Kennedy said interrupting her thoughts. She then stood up and walked a few feet to where Lando had wheeled in Han's casket while Kennedy again stayed back by Luke's casket and said his good-byes.

Tears once again fell from her eyes and onto the lid as she laid her head on Han's casket. Han Solo, her husband of 20 years, was gone. He was in Heaven with God, just like Luke.

After a few minutes of tears, Kennedy once again came behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder. She immediately turned around and wrapped her arms around him, still crying.

"I'm so sorry this happened, Leia. This hurts me too," he whispered to her.

"I just can't believe they're both gone!" she sobbed.

Once her tears somewhat subsided, the caskets were loaded back into a vehicle that Kennedy had arranged to be at the train station to take them to the garden for a small funeral.

Upon reaching the back of the garden, the caskets were unloaded and lowered into the holes that were already dug up. After Kennedy got finished talking on the phone with Lando and with another call that came through, he arranged to have someone come and dig 2 holes in the garden.

Lando and Kennedy didn't say much, except for a few memories that they each had with both Han and Luke.

Finally it was Leia's turn. She had absolutely no idea what she was going to say for she just found out about this in the last couple of hours. She was not planning on this happening at all. After thinking for a few minutes and doing her best to fight back tears, she began to speak.

"My dear brother and loving husband. I love you both so much. I can't believe that you are gone, but I know that both of you are in a better place."

She then paused as she thought about what to say next.

"Han, you're a scruffy-looking nerf-herder, but I love you so much. I'm sorry you aren't able to see the birth of our baby girl. I remember the day when I told you I was pregnant. You had just gotten home from a lengthy meeting and wanted to go to bed, but I wouldn't let you until I told you. When you found out, you wrapped your arms around me told me you loved me. All too soon, the idea of sleep left your head. You just wanted to hold me and kiss me. Finally, you allowed yourself to relax and the two of us fell asleep on the couch that night, wrapped up in each other's arms. I will miss you terribly, but one day, we be together in Heaven again."

Another pause and a few tears while Han's casket was being lowered into the ground. She then began to speak again.

"Luke, we didn't know we were brother and sister for the longest time. Ever since the battle of Endor, everything felt it was starting over and great things were going to happen. The best memory that I have of you is the day you gave me my necklace. You told me that you had it hand-made just for me. Today, I wear it as a strong reminder of you. My second best memory of you was when you walked me down the aisle when I married Han. It was the most beautiful site that everyone saw. Sorry that you won't get to meet your niece. I know that she will grow up to look either like me or our birthmother, Padme. I love you and one day, we will be together in heaven."

Once she was finished speaking, Luke's casket was lowered into the hole that was next to Han's. Leia watched in tears as the people that Kennedy had asked to come and dig the holes finish filling them and placing grave markers at the top. Even Kennedy was shedding a few tears as he and Lando helped them.

She felt the baby kick again, like she was saying "good-bye' to the daddy and uncle that she would never meet.

"It's OK, little one," Leia said with tears as she rubbed her stomach. "God will watch over us. He will keep us safe."

Once the funeral was over and after she spent a few minutes at each grave, she and Kennedy went back to his house and he prepared dinner. Along the way, he told her that she could stay with him as long as she needed.

During dinner, Kennedy broke the news about Natasha.

"Natasha had a double miscarriage earlier today. Dr. Anderson called me about 2 minutes after I got done talking with Lando."

Tears once again formed in Leia's eyes. Natasha's babies were now in Heaven. God knew them before they were even born. He knew that they would be His children.

"Is she OK?" she asked as she wiped away her tears with her wrist.

"She lost consciousness in the middle of it. They're waiting for her to wake up. Dr. Anderson's not sure if she's going to make it. She lost a lot of blood and her body composition is very small."

"I feel so bad for her, especially since she was carrying twins."

"Me too, Leia. It hurts to lose a child. I remember when my wife miscarried the first time she was pregnant. It was terrifying."

"I remember when you told me about it. You could barely get the words out," Leia answered. "How's Steve? I'm sure he's not taking this very easily."

"According to Dr. Anderson, he's not. He's scared that Natasha's not going to make it. I tried to call him, but he wouldn't answer his phone."

"Do Clint and Coulson know yet?"

"I think so. They're probably on their way here to be with them. If not both of them, then for sure Clint," Kennedy answered.

"I'll be praying for all of them," Leia responded. The two of them continued eating in silence. There wasn't much to say. All they could do is pray that Natasha would make it through this and somewhat be able to return to normalcy.


	10. Chapter 10

(2 days later)

Natasha slowly opened her eyes. She was cold and dizzy. The last thing she remembered was that she was bleeding, but from what. "Were the babies OK?" she asked herself.

She slowly turned her head to the right to see Clint. He was scrolling through his phone with one hand and holding hers with the other. Regardless, he was there with her, just like he always was when she was in the hospital.

"Clint," she said weakly.

"Hey, you're awake," he said as he set his phone on the table and looked into her eyes. They looked slightly bloodshot from the traumatic experience she had.

"Where's Steve?"

"He's on his way back here," Clint answered as he got up to pour her a glass of water.

"When did you get here?"

"Yesterday afternoon. I told him that I could stay with you so he could go to his hotel to get some sleep. He'll be relieved to know you're awake. You scared the crap out of all of us, Nat."

"How long was out?" she asked.

"Two days. Here," he answered as he handed her a cup of now lukewarm water. She took one big sip and then handed it back to him.

"What happened to me?" she asked as she tried to sit up, but fell back against the bed. Clint carefully slipped his arm around her to help her sit up.

Clint was unsure of how to answer her. Dr. Anderson and Steve had both told him what happened to her and it nearly broke his heart. They also told him not to tell her right away, afraid that it would cause her to panic. Considering how weak she was, an anxiety attack was the last thing she needed.

"You'll know soon, Nat. It's going to be OK," he answered.

"Are the babies OK? Please tell me they're OK," she said as she fought back tears.

"Yeah, they're fine. You just focus on getting better."

Seconds later, and with Steve not too far behind him, Dr. Anderson entered the room.

"Hey, you're awake." Dr. Anderson said softly as Clint moved from the chair so Steve could sit down.

"Doctor, what happened to me? Are the babies OK?"

"Easy, Natasha. You need to rest. This isn't good for you," Dr. Anderson soothed.

"Just tell me that the babies are OK. Please!" she sobbed.

"They're fine. It's OK," he answered, although he wasn't too happy about it. The babies were gone, but he didn't want to tell her that just yet. He knew it would break her. The last time he witnessed her having a panic attack was back when she was in the hospital in Russia. He even had to sedate her to calm her down. He hoped that he would never have to do again. She has one too many chemicals in her body as is.

"I'm so cold," she said interrupting his thoughts.

"Not good," he thought to himself as he helped her lay back down and pull the covers up to her chin.

"I'll go find her an extra blanket. I usually keep one in my office. It's important that she keeps warm," he said. He then left the room to retrieve it.

The three of them waited in silence. Steve held Natasha's hand in his as he listened to her slow breathing pattern, indicating that she had fallen asleep. She looked somewhat better than when he left her with Clint last night. The color was slowly coming back to face. Making her hair not as bright. However she wasn't out of the woods yet. She still needed to regain her strength and normal body temperature before they could even think about going home, or even more important, before she found out what actually happened to her.

Once he knew she was asleep, he quietly whispered to Clint about what he had heard from Officer Kennedy.

"Han and Luke were killed in battle the same day Nat lost consciousness."

"Oh no! I bet Leia's devastated," Clint answered.

"She is. Her baby was too. Kennedy told me that Leia felt her kick a few times, like she was saying 'good-bye.'"

"Aw, poor baby," Clint answered.

Natasha opened her eyes again. Apparently she had heard the conversation, because tears were falling from her eyes.

"Did you just say that Han and Luke are..." She couldn't finish as her shivers started once again.

"Easy, Nat. Just rest," Steve said as he placed his hand on her forehead.

"Are they really gone?" she asked.

"I'm afraid so," Clint answered.

Tears began to fall from her eyes as she shivered even more. Two of her non-SHIELD friends were gone. Now Leia's baby girl would grow up wither ever meeting her father or her uncle.

"Hey, hey. It's Ok," Steve soothed.

"How can they both be gone?" she sobbed.

"They were both shot at different times. The funeral was the same day."

"How's Leia?" she asked.

"She's very upset, especially this close to her due date. Kennedy told me that she was going to continue to say with him until the baby was born."

Natasha somewhat relaxed at that last comment, but her body still shivered.

She was so cold.

Dr. Anderson re-entered the room two extra blankets. Very carefully, he draped both of them over Natasha. A concerned look appeared on his face when he saw the tear stains. He glanced at Steve, silently asking what happened.

"She just found out about Han and Luke. She must've overheard me when I told Clint. I thought she was asleep, but I guess not," Steve answered.

"Yeah, I was upset too. Kennedy told me yesterday. I had called him about Natasha, so he didn't want to upset me even more," Dr. Anderson answered. Steve nodded as he listened to Natasha's breathing once again even out. All too soon, she was asleep once again.

"I can't imagine what Leia must be feeling right now." He said seconds later.

"Me neither. Did Kennedy tell you about her baby?"

Before Dr. Anderson could answer, a nurse came over the P.A. system. It even woke Natasha.

"Dr. Anderson to the ER. Dr. Anderson to the ER. Stat."

"I'll be back, guys. Call Sharol if you need anything since Kathleen will probably be with me." He then quickly rushed out the room and ran down the hall. He had no idea what was ahead of him.

"Steve?" Natasha said as she tried to sit up.

"It's OK, Nat. Just go back to sleep. Clint and I are both still here. You're OK," Steve soothed as he eased her back down. He could see the panic in her eyes. "Shh. Shh. It's alright. You're OK."

She fell back asleep within minutes of hearing Steve humming a soothing tune. Meanwhile, Clint stood by the window with his head lowered, whispering prayers for Dr. Anderson and to help him with whatever was happening in the ER.

Whatever it was, it couldn't be good.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you forgot, Dr. Anderson, the doctor in this and other stories, his first name is Gale.

It all happened.

Just like that.

It happened.

One minute Leia was walking down the small staircase to go inside the sanctum, and the next minute, her heart just stopped and she collapsed. Kennedy found her 5 minutes later when he happened to be passing by and saw the sanctum door open. He then quickly brought her to the hospital.

"How long has she been like this?" a nurse asked.

"I'm not sure. I was just walking by the garden and found her," Kennedy answered as the nurse checked for a pulse.

She found one, but just barely.

"Get Gale and a respirator. Stat!" she shouted to a nearby nurse.

Kennedy stayed by Leia's side as the nurses hooked her up to the respirator. Her heart was beating, but it wasn't at a normal rate.

"What about the baby?" another nurse asked as she and a doctor walked in. Kennedy recognized it as Kathleen and Dr. Anderson.

"I have to do a C-section, and fast."

"Gale, she'll die if we put her under!" Kathleen said worriedly.

Dr. Anderson thought for a few seconds. He was torn. Kathleen was right, but he was not about to lose two people in one day. He already lost 4 people 2 days ago (Han, Luke and the twins). He didn't need more loss in his life.

He wouldn't be able to bear it.

His thoughts were interrupted when a nurse announced that Leia's water bag had just broken and that the baby was coming.

"Move out of the way!" he shouted at the nurses as he positioned himself with where he needed to be.

Leia then awoke with a loud and high-pitched scream.

"Easy, Leia. Just hang on," Kathleen said stroking her hair.

Ten minutes later, Leia's baby was born.

Smiles were on everyone's faces, including Leia's, despite being in pain.

The celebration didn't last long thought.

The alarms were sounding once again.

"Gale, her heart rate is down again!" another nurse shouted. Meanwhile, Kathleen took the baby and began to clean her up.

"Leia, don't leave me. Not yet. Come on. Don't give up," Dr. Anderson said as he took her cold and sweaty hand in his.

"Doctor…give…her…to…Natasha." And with that, she breathed her last.

The respirator was screaming in his ear, indicating her heart had stopped.

She was gone.

She was in Heaven.

Kathleen came back into the small room where they had been working for the past half hour. Dr. Anderson had his head on Leia's chest. He was sobbing. Never in her years of working with him had she seen him cry.

"Is she…" She couldn't finish her question as her own tears were starting to form.

Dr. Anderson looked up at Kathleen with teary eyes and nodded yes. Kathleen then began to cry. Her favorite person in the world, Leia Amidala Organa-Solo, was gone.

A nurse brought Officer Kennedy into the room. Dr. Anderson and Kathleen moved back to her he could have a few minutes to say his good-byes.

Tears were falling from Kennedy's eyes as he stared at Leia's lifeless body. He couldn't believe that she was gone. His mind couldn't process it. What about her baby girl? Who would raise her? Would she have to live in an orphanage? Would Dr. Anderson adopt her? Could he himself adopt her as a single man?

After kissing Leia's cold forehead, he left the room while a different group of people came inside the room to collect the body. He would then make the arrangements to have her buried next to her husband and brother in the garden, the place that she loved the most.

After Kennedy had left, Kathleen and Dr. Anderson met in his office to talk about what was ahead. As of right now, Leia's baby was resting comfortably in the neonatal ward of the hospital. According to Kathleen, she was 8 pounds, 2 ounces, and 21 inches long. On the flipside, Natasha was awake, but her body temperature was down. In about a few minutes or so, he would go in and check on her and then somehow discuss with her what happened to her since she still didn't know yet. He would then carefully tell her about Leia and her baby.

"Gale, what about Leia's baby?" Kathleen asked a few seconds later. "Where will she go? She doesn't even have a name."

"Don't worry, Kathleen. I have it all worked out. Just be ready with the incubator for when I call you."

"What's going on?"

Dr. Anderson then told her all that was to happen, and she couldn't believe it.

"She'll be overjoyed!" She responded as the two of them stood up.

"Indeed she will."

"Does she know about what happened to her yet?" she asked. Dr. Anderson shook his head.

"I'm going to tell her now, and then carefully tell her about this," he answered. Kathleen nodded and the two of them went in different directions. She went to the neonatal ward to be near the baby and he went to the room where the baby's new mother was located.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get a couple tissues ready! This chapter gets emotional. Also, this is the first time that I have ever a small argument between characters in a story. I don't like arguments between characters so that' why I don't do them. 
> 
> One quick thing, here is the big question: Are you sure you're ready to read this chapter. Or are you too nervous to even attempt it? 
> 
> The choice is up to you.

Steve was scrunched in the hospital bed next to Natasha. She was shaking and shivering. He was trying to keep her warm as best he could.

"Shh. It's OK. I've got you. I'm right here," he whispered as he tightened his grip on her.

"I'm so cold," she sobbed. Steve then pulled the blankets up over her shoulders. He then positioned himself so that he could feel her forehead.

She was cold.

He didn't have a thermometer to check her temperature and Dr. Anderson was still in the ER. The minute that he came back in to check on her, he would have him check her temperature.

About 15 minutes later, Dr. Anderson came in the room.

"Steve, what are you doing?" he asked confusingly.

"She was shivering very hard. I thought this would help stop them," Steve answered as he looked down at Natasha, who had slightly fallen asleep.

Dr. Anderson gave a small smile as he pulled a thermometer from his coat pocket. Natasha opened her eyes when she heard him come closer.

"Can you open for me?" he asked softly. She did.

A minute later, Steve had his answer. Natasha's body temperature was 94.3.

"I'm so worried about her," Steve answered after Dr. Anderson told him the number.

"Me too, Cap. That's why I want to keep her here a couple extra days," Dr. Anderson answered.

"Steve, no. Please. I want to go home!" Natasha sobbed as she shivered once again. It seems that whenever she started to panic, her shivers would start up again.

"Shh. It's OK. We'll go home soon. Dr. Anderson want you to get stronger before you can go back. You've been through a very traumatic experience, and you need to recover," Steve said.

Tears fell from Natasha's tired eyes. She had been here for about a week. She wanted to be back in her own bed back at SHIELD. She wanted Steve to be able to hold her without being scrunched up in the bed.

When her tears somewhat stopped, she looked Steve in the eyes.

"What do you mean by traumatic experience? What happened to me?"

Steve looked at Dr. Anderson and he nodded, telling Steve to tell her the truth.

"Nat, do you remember anything?"

"I nearly bled to death," she answered.

Steve looked to Dr. Anderson once again as if to say, "Are you sure?" Dr. Anderson nodded "yes" as Clint came into the room. Judging by the silence, he assumed that Natasha was just about to learn what happened to her two days ago.

"Nat," Steve said as he took her hand. "This is really difficult for me to tell you, but the reason you nearly bled to death is because you had a double miscarriage. You lost the babies."

"No! It can't be true! Please tell me it's not true!" Natasha exclaimed as her hand moved to her stomach.

She couldn't feel her bump.

"I'm afraid it is, Nat," Clint said as he came and put his hand on her shoulder.

Tears once again streamed down Natasha's face. Her babies were gone. Her body had killed them. Her body, intoxicated with various chemicals from Russia and the Red Room, had killed her children.

Steve leaned over and embraced her as she sobbed uncontrollably into his chest. Because she was so weak, she couldn't bring her arms up around her.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she sobbed.

"We didn't want to upset you."

"How do think I feel now?" she sobbed as she buried her head back into Steve's chest. She was mad at what had happened to her, and even more mad that Steve and Clint didn't tell her right away.

Clint then came up and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Nat, can you look at me?" he asked. Very slowly, she turned at looked at Clint with teary eyes.

"Nat, you have to understand. There was no easy way for either of us to break this to you."

"What do you mean 'no easy way to break this to me?'" she asked angrily.

"Nat, it's not easy for anyone say to someone that their children are gone. When you woke up, I couldn't even begin to tell you because it hurt me too. Steve told me over the phone and I was devastated, but no more than Steve was."

Natasha gave him the look.

"What are you saying, Clint?"

"Nat, I was there, holding you upright," Steve said.

"And you didn't tell me what was going on?"

"Nat, you were in severe pain. My heart was even hurting because of it. Then you passed out. Dr. Anderson said that you flat-lined. I though I almost lost you."

Natasha once again sobbed into Steve's chest. In the past 2 minutes, she learned that her babies were gone and that she almost died.

* * *

Standing by the door to give them some privacy, Dr. Anderson was trying to think of the best and easiest way to tell Natasha about Leia's baby, however it first involved having to tell her that Leia died of a weak heart 1 minute after giving birth. If he told her now, she would be even more upset than she already was. Her shivering would increase and her temperature would go down even farther. He had to wait until she calmed down again before delivering more bad news.

As quietly as he could, he left the room and went to his office to think and pray. Right now, he needed wisdom from God to give him the words to say.

Once inside his office and with the door locked, he notified Kathleen to resume her normal rounds until he notified her again.

"Is everything OK?" she asked.

"Not exactly. Natasha found out about her miscarriage and she's not happy with Steve or Clint because they didn't tell her sooner. More bad news right now would just devastate her."

"Oh, poor thing. I'll pray her for her. And I'll pray that you will find the right words to say."

"Thanks, Kathleen." He then hung up his phone and put it on silent. He then bowed his head in his hands and began to pray.

* * *

Back in the room. Natasha had finally stopped crying and fell asleep.

Not knowing where and why Dr. Anderson left, Steve decided to go for walk outside the hospital to clear his head.

"Take your time, Cap. I'll stay with her," Clint said. Steve then left the room and closed the door quietly behind him,

Directing his eyes back to Natasha, he began to study her. Her tear-stained face was pale, slightly contrasting with her red hair. For about 2 minutes, he listened to her slow breathing pattern, indicating she was asleep.

Placing a hand over hers and lacing his fingers with hers, he slouched down in the chair and closed his eyes.

Within seconds, he was asleep.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, lovely readers. At last, after countless chapters of torturer and sadness, I now present to you a chapter with fluff!

(2 hours later)

Dr. Anderson came back to find Natasha partly asleep and Clint still holding her hand.

"Is Steve nearby?" he asked quietly, not wanting to startle Natasha from her sleep.

"Getting a bite to eat," Clint responded.

"OK, have him come find me when he gets back. I have something to discuss with all you."

"Is everything OK, Doc?" Clint asked worriedly.

"Yes and no. I'll explain later," Dr. Anderson answered. He then glanced at Natasha. "Is she OK?"

"Yeah, trying to sleep."

"Good, she needs all the rest she can get," he answered. He then left the room and closed the door quietly behind him and went to find Kathleen. It was time to deliver the news.

"Clint?" Natasha murmured.

"Yeah?"

"I'm cold," she said as her shivers began once again.

Clint pulled the covers up to her chin. He then took off his sweatshirt and draped it over her.

"Better?" he asked.

Natasha nodded her head and closed her eyes. Clint then kissed her on the forehead and listened to her breaths even out.

* * *

(15 minutes later)

Steve returned to Natasha's room, talking on the phone with Coulson. He immediately hung up when he noticed Natasha sleeping.

As he got closer to the bed, he noticed that Natasha had not only blankets covering her, she also had Clint's sweatshirt and his own sweatshirt covering her. He guessed that during his absence, she got cold and Clint didn't want to bother any of the hospital staff.

Clint was still sitting in the chair next to her, except he was slouched down and his eyes were closed. He looked worn out, but he still kept Natasha's hand in his.

"Clint, you alright?" he asked. Clint rubbed his eyes with his other hand and looked at Steve.

"Sorry, Cap. Just really worn out," he replied.

"Yeah, me too. I'll be glad when we can go home," Steve said as Clint sat up in the chair. "How's she doing?"

"Cold, but good. Oh, Dr. Anderson said to go and get him in his office. He has something to discuss with all of us."

"OK." He then quickly left the room and quickly walked down to Dr. Anderson's office.

Just like Clint had said, Dr. Anderson was in his office. He was working on the adoption paperwork for Steve and Natasha to sign. He quickly put it away when Steve knocked on his door.

"Umm, Clint said to come find you when I got back."

"You are correct. Follow me back to Natasha's room. I'll be right behind you," Dr. Anderson replied.

Steve left the office while Dr. Anderson grabbed the file from his desk and headed out. Along the way, he notified Kathleen, however she was now busy with a patient and couldn't step away, so he told her that he would bring in the incubator instead.

Natasha was awake when Steve and Dr. Anderson entered. She was also wearing Steve's sweatshirt to stay warm since she wasn't under the covers anymore.

All were very nervous and Dr. Anderson pulled up two more chairs for him and Steve to sit down.

"First of all, I am sorry for abruptly leaving earlier today. It's just, seeing Natasha upset over her babies made it, uh, difficult for me to tell you my piece of news," Dr. Anderson explained.

"What news is that?" Natasha asked as she kept her grip on Clint's hand.

"Well, I have good news and bad news. Umm, you see when I was called to the emergency room, it was because a patient had been brought in that was unconscious. Guys, that patient was Leia, and she had a heart attack."

A stir went around the room.

"Heart attack?" Steve asked.

"I'm afraid so. I'm not sure if she ever told you guys this, but she suffers from heart failure. I think it's a heredity thing. Her birth mom died minutes after giving birth to her," Dr. Anderson explained.

"She told me the day Natasha was brought in," Steve said.

"I believe she told me once during a phone conversation," Natasha added.

"Is she OK? What about her baby?" Clint asked.

"Well, I'm not sure what order to put this in, but she did give birth to a baby girl. When she came in, I was just about ready to start a C-section, when her water broke. She also awoke and was able to deliver her baby," Dr. Anderson said.

Smiles were on everyone's faces, however they didn't last long.

"What happened to her?" Natasha asked. Dr. Anderson took a breath and looked at everyone with a serious face.

"Well, after giving birth, her heart started to fail and her breaths were coming in short. A few minutes later, se flat-lined. She is in Heaven, alongside her brother and husband, and free of any heart problems."

A few tears began to fall from Natasha's eyes. Her close friend, the one that introduced her to Anna, was gone.

"What about the baby?" she managed.

"Well, that's my other piece of good news. Natasha, Leia chose you and Steve to adopt her. She must've heard about what happened from Kennedy. The last thing she said to me was 'giver her to Natasha.'"

A different kind of tears were now falling from her face.

They were tears of happiness.

She was finally going to be a mother!

"Can I see her?" she asked.

"Yes. I'll be right back," Dr. Anderson said smiling. He then quickly left the room to get the incubator.

Meanwhile, Steve and Clint decided that this would be the time to try and apologize to Natasha for not telling her right away about her miscarriage. Steve went first.

"Nat, I am very sorry for not telling you about your miscarriage. More specifically, I'm sorry for not telling you what was going on when it was happened."

"And I'm sorry for not telling you when you woke up. Steve and I were both idiots. We should've trusted you to handle it," Clint added.

"Promise me that you will never keep anything from me ever again. Promise me, right now, or I will kill you both," Natasha said sternly.

Steve and Clint both swore that they would never keep anything from her. From the sound of her voice, she still hadn't forgiven them yet. She was probably still mad at them.

Minutes later, the door opened again. Dr. Anderson entered, rolling in the incubator that held Leia's baby girl.


	14. Chapter 14

"She's beautiful," Steve said as Dr. Anderson brought the incubator closer to the bed.

"Did Leia name her?" Natasha asked.

"I assumed she had a name picked out, but she never told me," Dr. Anderson answered.

"Nat, I think you should name her," Clint said.

Natasha thought for a few minutes. A smile then appeared on her face.

She had a name.

"Maria. Maria Amidala Rogers," she answered.

Dr. Anderson smiled as he wrote the name down in his file. Natasha had named her baby after Maria Hill and used Leia's middle name to be the middle name of her child.

"I'm sure both Maria and Leia would be honored," he answered as he moved papers around in the folder. At that moment, Kathleen came in. She looked somewhat stressed from what she had been previously working on, but she wanted to witness Natasha and Steve meeting their daughter.

"Natasha, if you are ready, I already have the adoption paperwork drawn up. All you have to do is sign it."

"I am," she responded with tears slowly falling down her cheeks.

Wish a shaky hand, Natasha signed the paper that made her the legal mother. Steve signed next as the legal father, then Clint as the next of kin, and Dr. Anderson and Kathleen signed as witnesses.

"Can I hold her?" Natasha asked as Dr. Anderson closed the folder and set it on the table.

"Yes," Kathleen answered. She then opened the incubator and lifted the baby out. Very carefully, she placed her in Natasha's arms. Steve came closer and stroked her tiny head with one hand. His other was around Natasha's shoulders.

Natasha looked at her daughter with teary eyes. Her eyes were closed, but opened a few seconds later.

"Ty moi," she said as she closed her hand around the baby's. "Ty moi."

Steve then took the baby from Natasha's arms and held her. For the first time in his life. He was a father. He couldn't be happier. He then kissed her tiny head and handed her to Clint.

Clint was overly excited for both Steve and Natasha as he held Maria in his arms. After so long of being afraid to try, and then to getting pregnant only to lose both babies, his former partner and best friend was finally going to be a mother. On top of that, he was going to be an uncle!

After Natasha held her one last time, Kathleen took the baby and placed her back into the incubator. It would still be a few more days before both she and Natasha could go home. She had only been born a few days ago and Natasha was still gaining some of her strength back from being sick and from the miscarriage.

Once Dr. Anderson checked Natasha's body temperature for the second time that day, he and Kathleen left the room, leaving the incubator in there as well.

Steve embraced Natasha in his arms as she was still sobbing. Not only was she a mother, but her body temperature was almost back to normal. She was currently at 96.7.

"I love you," he said as he held her in his arms.

"I know," she responded. Steve smiled at her response.

Those were Han and Leia's words when they verbally expressed their love to each other, and now they would be theirs.

* * *

(2 days later)

After being in the hospital for a little over a week, Natasha was finally released to go home. As for baby Maria, she was doing fine. All of the initial tests that were done when she was born came back negative. She was healthy, and that made everyone happy.

Upon arriving back at the base, Steve, Clint, and Natasha, who was holding Maria in her arms, were greeted by Coulson and Anna, who had just got back from back from visiting her family.

"Anna, are you OK?" Steve asked when he instantly saw her on crutches.

"I'll live. I got shot in the leg. No damage. Just a nasty bruise that hurts like crap," She responded smiling.

"Sorry about that," Steve said. Natasha then came forward.

"Coulson, Anna, I would like you to meet Maria Amidala Rogers," she said.

Coulson smiled when he saw the baby in Natasha's arms. It reminded him when baby Skye was brought to him and Agent May many years ago.

"Congratulations, guys," Coulson said as he shook Steve's hand. Everyone then moved to the couch so that Anna could sit down and hold the baby.

About 15 minutes later, and during a late lunch/early dinner, Natasha broke the news about Leia.

Anna took it the worst. Leia was her best friend.

"She was my best friend too, Anna. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have met you," Natasha said taking Anna's hand.

"I know, and I'm glad she called me. But, it's just hard. She and I were really close," Anna said as tears fell from her eyes.

"Ya znayu," Natasha replied.

Before bed that night, Natasha and Anna prayed in the room where she and Steve slept. Natasha prayed that she and Anna would feel Gods presence during this difficult time of losing a close friend and Anna prayed that Natasha's baby girl would grow up to be a beautiful young and Godly woman, and in the future, an agent of SHIELD.

"I need to retrain myself before I train her," Natasha said as they finished their prayer.

"I'll help you," Anna said. "We'll all help you, and when you're ready, I was wondering if you could show me how to use the Widow's Bite."

"Of course," Natasha answered. The two girls embraced and stayed that way for the longest time.

"Thank you, Anna. For everything."

"You are most certainly welcome."

Anna then left the room as Steve came in. He then closed the door halfway and he and Natasha laid down embraced in each other's arms. Both were happy to be together and not scrunched up in a hospital bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ty moi: you're mine  
> Ya znayu
> 
> And that's it! Stay tuned for part 9, where the idea of "Redemption" will make more sense. 
> 
> Follow me on Twitter (@AdoationAmy) and check me out on tumblr to ask questions and see what I am up to.


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